tales

being disappointed in yourself is the worst.
for me at least.
im sure it happens to many people, many times a day or week or month (depending on how critical the person is of themselves)...
but it really ruins me.

i was too lazy to be involved in my college affairs.
my friends are meeting roommates and chatting on facebook, while i still haven't been assigned a room. i signed up for the last orientation, I'm listed as a non-florida resident...i am a fucking stupid piece of poop.

i have been pushing away the realization that in august im leaving brynna, francesca, manny, and anthony. im leaving my big sister, im leaving my room. i know this applies to everyone leaving for college. but i wish i could be excited like everyone else. i wish i could take an interest in my future instead of concentrating on the clock that is ticking on top of my heart.

i don't know if im strong enough for this. if im comfortable enough with myself to live with strangers. if im talented enough to be the writer i want to be. if im disciplined enough to live without my nagging mother. if my love is strong enough to last even for the fall semester. if im worth the help ive been given.

everyone seems to be growing up beautifully.
but im not sure if i can give it a shot.